My father woke us up and asked me to brought him to the hospital. Being a kidney transplant patient, he was prone to illness and diseases. An isolation room in the hospital is like a home to him. We got used to the scent of hospital, the smell of antibacterial, alcohol, medicine, bleached bedsheets for two years after his kidney transplant operation. In other words, the day is just one of those days.

This time, he had difficulty in breathing. His nephrologist guarded all the possible complications, my tatay (father) is 57. My dad underwent dialysis for almost a year before kidney transplant, my younger sister as the donor. Me, being the eldest failed the matching test for having small kidney stones.

Going back, we went to the hospital with my cousin (tatay is his godfather) and my 2nd son at 6am in the morning. After all the test have been done, we were finally in his hospital room at 9am. He had dextrose and oxygen but makulit to get near the window to see the morning sunshine. He looked like he had asthma attack but he didn’t have asthma. After I finished attending to his needs, I asked him if he felt better. He said yes. I told my cousin that we’re ok and he can go to his work. I told Tatay, I will take a quick nap in a couch beside his bed where my son was sleeping. He said, he will also sleep.

I hug my son and tried to sleep. I can’t sleep, just resting, facing my son. I didn’t stand long with that position, so I changed position so that I can see tatay. I was looking at his face while sleeping when I noticed that there was something wrong with his face. It seemed, he was sleeping but it wasn’t. Tatay… tay… tatay… he didn’t respond, didn’t move. I called the nurses to checked my father, then the room is filled with nurses, residents and doctors.

It happened 10 years ago, today is Tatay’s 10th year Death Anniversary. Time flies so fast, my memory still remembers every details of that day. I miss him so much… my family just came home from Loyola Memorial.

personal tatay pinoy