When the clock struck midnight, I was online but I can’t think of anything to write. Sort of I’m not in the mood to write, to research or to do anything in the net. At first, I was thinking of writing about my Tatay, my fingers started typing but eventually stopped because I was thinking what to do today, on this very day that mothers in the world are acknowledge for being a mom to their children.
Since yesterday, I already received SMS, YM messages, emails greeting me for this “special” day. Their mom could be special because they spread the love by greeting other mothers aside from their mom. Am I not that good enough?
I sacrificed everything for my kids and made them feel that they are loved as much as I could. I, as well as my hubby being part of broken family (both our parents are separated) and so are my children now, its hard to break the so called “chain” from generation to generation. As much as possible, I don’t want them to have their broken family of their own when time comes.
Their dad stopped celebrating Mother’s Day at an early age. His hatred to his mom somehow made me feel that I did the same thing his mom did to them. Its unfair. I am affected, my kids are affected as well because he never taught our children “love for mother”. I know that we cannot imposed that to anybody but my children didn’t see a model from him.
The result, Mother’s Day is just one ordinary day when this is supposed to be a special day for me. He fetched my kids last Friday to stay with him during the weekend and my kids are supposed to be home this afternoon. I spent the whole day yesterday in cleaning the house, my kids’ clothes and planning for a special dinner tonight and some malling afterwards. My son called me up this morning to greet me and told me that their dad told them that they will be home by Wednesday. What the @!3Qkl!!!
Of course, no mother would allow that. I’m terribly upset. I’m still weeping in tears when I’m writing this post. All I want is to be acknowledge by my own children… to be with them and not feel the way I feel right now. Mother’s Day is for children and mother. I am a Mom. Someday, they will have their own family, I want them to acknowledge their wife as the mother of their children and not the way their dad is doing.
I’m avoiding conflicts to spare my children on negative feelings. I could let career and opportunities pass by but my priority will always be my kids. I maybe emotional, upset and hurt but I have to let it all out here. Happy Mother’s Day to me.
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Being part of a broken family is really challenging and tough. It will make or break your personality as a whole.
I was moved while reading your post. I just hope that everything will be fine specially your children. I hope that they will not be affected on the situation and eventually to have a great family in the future.
Happy mothers day to you.
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Thanks, Vlad. My ultimate goal is to “break the chain”. I hope I brought them up the way they should be and prepare them for the family life I wish them to have. Kapag nangyari yun, successful mom na ako at wala nang hihilingin pa.
sorry to learned about what happened to you during the supposed memorable day for all mothers.
i think your kids are still very young to understand the emotions that you are going through. in no time, they will learn the different role between a mom and dad.
Margot(SweetMom) of PinayMom.orgs last blog post..Great Gift Idea’s for your Mom on Mother’s Day
Thanks, Margot. That’s why I was so upset because they’re not that young unlike my youngest who is only 8 yrs old. I seldom made a post about family life, para kasing telenobela.
I hope you are right that they will learn somehow.
I often wonder why it hurts my heart that my boys are growing up. I mean they are only 4 and 7 but they’re as grown up as they’ve ever been. I can’t put my finger on why that makes me sad. But it does. I guess most moms are that way.